Part Two

How Authentic Are Our Goals?

Now that you have chosen the areas you want to work on and have come up with some actions to help you do this, we are going to have a look at how authentic these goals and actions are for you. We are going to consider each general goal as well as its specific actions in turn.

If you feel that you need a break that’s fine! Just come back and finish as soon as you feel ready to, so you don’t lose your momentum – it will pay off.

Before we start, download the worksheet below so you can fill it in as we go.

Considering the Area of Your Life You Want to Work On

  • Look at the first area you want to improve and imagine it being in a great state. Describe what that would look like in detail.
    • Note that if it looks great “on paper” or seems like something that someone else would be envious of but does not excite or motivate you in any way, it may not be authentic to you.
    • On the other hand if, when you picture it, there is a glow, it is a colourful image, you look strong, happy or excited or it just seems right somehow, these are all good signs it is authentic to you.
  • Continuing to imagine that area of your life in a great state, how do you feel? Write out all your feelings both good and bad.
    • Remember that feelings of resistance are natural, but as long as there is also some feeling of; uplift, hope, excitement, interest or dedication or similar, that is a good sign that a goal is meaningful to us.
    • On the other hand, if it mostly makes us feel scared (not in a good way), bored or disinterested, heavy, tired, restricted, burdened, dutiful or unimaginative, then maybe this goal is not right for you.
  • Now, considering the information above, write out your specific goal for this area of your life, which should also include how you want to feel; i.e. I want to have more away-from-screen time so that I feel more grounded and clear-headed.

If you have come to the conclusion that a certain area of your life or a certain goal is not authentic for you right now, sit still and connect to the feeling of your heart in your chest. Ask that feeling what it most wants to work on and wait with an open mind for the answer. If you get a new goal, repeat the steps above for it (and you will also need to come up with some new actions to take towards it).

Considering Your Chosen Actions for the Different Areas of Your Life

  • Now look at the first action for the first area of life and imagine doing it – how do you feel? Include all your feelings both good and bad.
    • Although we may have a sense of how much effort it is going to take, there should also be a feeling such as; dedication, commitment, interest, excitement, strength, power or happiness, for example.
    • If you have no positive feelings for this action, maybe it is not authentic for you, even if it seems sensible.

Anytime you feel an action is not the most authentic, imagine the perfect outcome for this area of your life again and wonder with an open mind what would be the most joyful, interesting and engaging way of getting there. Allow yourself to think outside of the box – even though our actions have to be practical enough to carry out, they do not have to be mundane or expected. If you come up with a new action, repeat the step above to check how it makes you feel.

Repeat the above steps for each of the actions for the first area you are working on, then move onto the next area and its actions and so on. Now you have looked at your main goals and the actions you want to take, to make sure they are the most authentic to you – well done!

In the next part of the course we are going to give you a massive boost by helping you to find your authentic motivation – the rocket fuel of all self-development work.