Annual Review for 2020

A specific kind of annual review for a very specific kind of year.

Doing a personal annual review is a great way to look back on the year drawing to a close and take stock of how far we’ve come – but we probably need to do it a different way this year. Many of us will not have achieved the goals we set out for ourselves at the beginning of 2020, but we have achieved a lot in other ways. We have all also lost something and experienced hardships that most of us had no way of preparing for. So I’m going to set out an annual review roadmap specifically for this year.

Many of us might not feel like looking back, only looking ahead to the year we hope will be much better. But I think there’s gold in them thar hills – we owe it to ourselves to acknowledge what we have survived, how we have adapted, how we have made sacrifices to keep others safe. We have literally given up our normal lives so that others can keep living theirs.

So in this post I’m going to look at some ways that we might be able to do an annual review for a year like nothing we’ve seen before. To recognise our effort and our growth and to mourn the things we’ve lost. We could put these feelings and thoughts off until later, but if you feel up to it I think it could help you.

While you do this I recommend that you sit somewhere quiet, use a notebook or diary to write down your thoughts and be kind to yourself. We’ve all made mistakes and not always been the people we have wanted to be at times, but a sense of self-compassion can help us to see ourselves as we are and to change if we need to.

  1. The Things we Overcame

This is a great place to start, to get the obstacles and challenges off your chest. We will be using three columns, so you can draw those on your page.

a) Make a list on the left side of the page of all the tough things you’ve experienced this year – these could be around work, relationships, feeling disconnected or others.

b) Then in the middle column, write all the positives that came about through this obstacle. They might be hard to think of at first, but stick with it. It could include things you learned about yourself, the ways you adapted, the strength you discovered in yourself, values you realise are important to you. Try and find the most real positives you’ve gained and if you really can’t think of a positive for a challenge that’s ok, you can come back to it later.

c) Now think of how these positives may benefit you in the future and write these in the right hand column. Why not also take a moment for each one to feel good about how you rose to meet a challenge. And if you feel like one or more defeated you, knowing that you’re still here and still going is evidence that you got through it.

2. Acknowledging What we Have Lost

Some of us have suffered extreme losses such as the death of loved ones, while others of us have suffered other kinds of loss – long separation from friends and family, losing a job, loss of our peace of mind, maybe even the loss of innocence in a way.

This is a personal annual review for yourself only – so try to give yourself permission to feel grief for the things you’ve lost, even if others have lost more. Even those of us who have been fortunate have lost something, and taking the time to name it and to acknowledge our feelings can help us to understand ourselves and our experience.

We will be using four columns.

a) Write all the things you feel grief over losing on the left hand side.

b) Then in the second column write down your emotions around each one. I know it can be tough to dwell on negative emotions, so only do as much as you can handle right now, but it can also be very healing to get it all out in the open and on paper.

c) Then in the third column write what each loss and its emotions means about you. For example, if your loss was “meeting up with friends”, your feelings were “frustration, restlessness, boredom, anxiety” and you think about what this means about you as a person deep down (and with an open mind) you might realise “I need human connection and stimulating conversation because I like to be challenged intellectually. I am also a caring person and I miss time spent around people”.

This is a very individual process and it would be almost impossible to predict what someone else would put in that third column because it is something you know about yourself deep down. And this is what we are really grieving the loss of.

d) If you would like to, you can then go through each and be grateful for times when you did have that person, thing or activity.

e) In the final column you can create an affirmation of something positive you can do now and/or the future, that includes the deeper meaning. For instance, using the example above; “when it is safe to meet up again, I am really going to appreciate my friends and show them that I care. For now I am going to connect with them in the ways I can and enjoy the mental stimulation of challenging conversation”.

3. Looking at What We Want to Carry Forward

In step 1. we looked at things you gained through experiencing hardships. Take some time to think about anything else you gained this year, maybe; time to be creative, resilience, compassion, patience, better communication, more zoom skills or others.

In this freestyle exercise, jot down what you have gained this year that you want to carry into next year and how it might make your life better.

4. Letter to 2020 You

I think that this simple exercise might be a good way to gain some closure around the difficulties of this year, to acknowledge everything we’ve been through and the ways we have grown as people.

So in this very freestyle and kind letter, write to yourself from earlier this year to say what you are grateful for and proud of.

Take care of the emotions of that earlier self, acknowledge their experience fully, maybe offer them some encouragement and love. Also, acknowledge kindly what could have been better this year as well as what you did that was great. This can include anything that is significant to you, perhaps being grateful for all the thousands of tiny things you did to keep yourself and loved ones healthy, being proud of helping someone, making someone smile, being understanding about losing your temper, knowing how you’ve been strong when you had to be.

Write the letter that would have made the biggest difference to you to read this year and try to write it from the heart. You may be surprised at what comes up, you may even find that some resolutions for the next year naturally come to light.

I would write the date on it also, because it will likely make an interesting read when you come across it in years to come.

Whatever you discovered about yourself from looking back at this year, I hope you have found that you have gained something special from a very difficult time, and it is something you can carry forward to help you in the next year and in life. I wish you a peaceful and fulfilling end of the year!

Great next step: enrol on the course for achieving your authentic goals. Free for a limited time only.

Strong Feelings, How to Deal With Them and What they Can Teach Us

These times are a challenge, there’s no doubt. Moments of calm interspersed with waves of panic or anxiety, and then moments of happiness and connection. 

It can be hard to find our feet. 

I have been working with people to understand their feelings for a long time and I wanted to offer people a really concise process for working through these strong emotions when they come up. 

And I am glad to say I have just finished writing a short book over the course of the last two weeks (rather than 1.5 years like my last one – sorry in advance if you find a typo!) to teach people how to do this. 

Why should we work through our feelings?

When I work with people the start of a session is often about helping people to become calm and centred. This means that we can actually do something meaningful together – because you need that sense of centredness and safety to make a change

So the extra challenge of these times is that we are never able to completely reach a state of certainty or resolution which we can build on. 

That is OK for a few weeks, but as this situation is around for a while it is really important to do the work of processing the feelings that come up. Then we can develop more and more self-control and self-understanding irrespective of external events. 

What can we do in this situation?

This is not just about being stoic and “getting through” tough times. It is about using this intense situation as fuel for our own self-knowledge and quality of life. 

Difficult, raw emotions hold a lot of information within them, which can teach us more about ourselves. The exercises in this book will teach you some of the basics you need to know in order to get to this information. 

I know that for many people this is the scariest situation they have ever been in, while for many others it pales in comparison to difficult childhoods, past losses or other very hard times. But whatever your level of “being used to difficulty”, through the current difficult times we can become more resilient, self-aware, grounded and loving.

Of course this does not mean never being afraid, or worried, or never having a sleepless night. It is about using every opportunity we can to come out of this stronger and happier overall. 

Some of the good we can find

A lot of people I have worked with had, in the past, believed that the key to happiness was in avoiding or preventing difficulties, or pushing away negative emotions.

But actually, difficulties show us what is important to us, what we really want and also negative emotions are what sane people have in hard times. They are telling us to take care of ourselves and our loved ones and often when we have listened to them fully, they dissipate.

So some of the possible take-aways from this situation might be:

  • Learning to feel our feelings fully and listen to what they are saying
  • Improving our relationship to our own emotions 
  • Using the focus created by an uncertain situation to give us clarity (not on the future situation but on ourselves)
  • Using the toughness of the situation to become stronger
  • Using difficult times to strengthen bonds and develop meaning

Above I mentioned becoming stronger and by this I don’t mean harder or more closed-off. I mean stronger as in more: open-hearted, in our integrity, self-expressive, honest with ourselves and using our talents to help others.

I have felt a powerful urge to be useful and I know that many other people feel the same way – not just other therapists. Although this work is invisible, by working through our own emotions we will also be more available to help and support others so it can have a powerful impact. 

Affordable for you and free for NHS

As I know many of us are facing either financial uncertainty, or are experiencing leaner times right now, I have kept the price very low.

I will also be offering this ebook for free to NHS workers (if you are one just email me a photo of your NHS ID and I will send you back your copy, please be patient as admin takes me some time!).

So if you could share the link to this blog article with any NHS staff you know, or the link to the book on my site for everyone else ( that would be wonderful, I really appreciate you taking the time to do that! I really want it to find its way to the people who need it.

I hope you are keeping well, feeling healthy and have all the support and resources you need.

Take care!

Tea and Transformation

By now it’s official (irreversible) – I have a full-on love affair with tea. There is probably nothing quite as glorious as a full, fresh pot of tea waiting to be enjoyed, maybe with a book to go with it. However, recently I have noticed a worrying trend (both in the UK and the US), which is that certain places pride themselves on making the “perfect” cup. This translates as letting your tea steep for a set amount of time (timed on a timer) and then giving you only the liquid so it can’t get any stronger. 

The problem with this is that most experienced tea-drinkers like their tea at different strengths. It’s just down to individual taste. 

Another problem is that you remove all the beautiful variation of enjoying the tea at different stages of taste and colour. One of my favourite memories of Beijing was going for  tea ceremonies and spending time enjoying the different fragrances and tastes of each cup, getting a very different experience with every subsequent pour from the pot. 

And then there’s always the joy of feeling really sleepy/ unmotivated and waiting till your tea has the consistency of jam to really get you going. OK maybe not jam.. but definitely up to Northern/ industrial strength!

Now, to reach only slightly awkwardly for a metaphor, self-development is a bit like this too. New realisations, behaviours or recently-discovered parts of ourselves take time to percolate through our system and sink in. Allowing the time and space to let this happen organically means we don’t risk missing out on fully-embracing or integrating an important part of our experience. I have never seen a client or myself trying to rush this bit without skipping over or missing something and just having to circle back later. There’s something genuinely kind about giving yourself the time and space you need without any expectation of the outcome. It leaves room for subtlety and nuance and removes any self-inflicted pressure from notions we may have about being on a particular schedule or moving forward in a specific way.

… Real exploration is open-ended…

So, please enjoy your tea – don’t muzzle it. And maybe try to leave pauses where there should be pauses, honouring yourself with a spacious attitude of self-kindness.  

And now I get to finish my little pot of Yunnan green tea, no timer in sight 😉

The Importance of Rest

Just as important as action? Inaction

In our world success is seen as the result of activity, motivation, sweat, push, push, push. A lot of motivational speakers stress the importance of being “up”, being positive, assertive and in quite an extraverted state for most of the time. For some of us this is completely natural and energising – for others it is a stretch and quite draining. 

We need to find the right balance of activity and rest for us, and this is different for each person depending on their personality, lifestyles, cultures, jobs, bodies and responsibilities. 

But no matter whether we are more introverted or extraverted, we all need rest. This allows us to re-charge but also gives time and space for things to mature and deepen. Too much activity and push can lead to a superficial level of action, results and success, but underneath there is often a lack of integration, cohesiveness and nourishment. 

This attitude can often be driven by the more surface world of looking great on social media, where it is felt that we need to post a lot and look great all the time – but that is not how real life is. Real life is sleeping, morning hair, feeling grumpy occasionally, shopping for food, so many things that are not looking perfect and motivated. So I would just like to take a moment to consider if you are resting enough. Possible signs you are not might include

  • Feeling restless, always looking for the next task to do
  • Finding it hard to switch off
  • Nervous, repetitive twitches and actions
  • Relying on caffeine/ sugar/ other to get you through the day
  • Needing to be constantly entertained
  • Feeling anxious or irritable
  • Physical symptoms of tiredness and exhaustion 

Rest is any kind of downtime where you are not trying to be productive, you feel at peace and like there is no need to produce an end result of any kind. 

This might be a break from the screen, a walk at lunchtime to get out of the office, a bath, a nap, a cuddle with someone, a stretch, reading a book, looking at cat videos – any intermission from what you are normally doing for most of the day. And if you are too busy; if you do check your phone or watch quite a lot of TV, maybe you can use some of that time to do something that is restful for your body and mind – even a micro nap could help. You may find that you feel restored and come back with a fresh perspective. 

It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

If you are looking for a good place to start, why not try this visualisation exercise on finding your self-love mentor. It’s not strictly about relaxation, but it is about finding someone who can help you find it!

Woman surrounded by Christmas lights

By Yourself at Christmas

This post is for all the people who are going to be by themselves at Christmas and want to make the most of it. I hope one or more of these suggestions is useful, let me know how you get on!

Plan Some Fun

Being by yourself means that you get to decide exactly what you want to do and when, so I recommend planning out some really fun things that you enjoy. That might include:

  • pampering/ spa
  • sight-seeing, museums
  • restaurants (take a book?)
  • movies
  • shows
  • shopping
  • zorbing/ zip lining (or anything else fun and available in winter in your area)

It can also be something you’ve always wanted to try and never found the time. You could book these ahead of time so you have things to look forward to throughout your holidays. If you wanted, you could even plan a holiday with single people around your age, so you get to see somewhere new – a great option for people who hate to eat at restaurants and explore alone.

Meet Some Likeminded People

If you are in the mood to be social, you can find other people in the same mood using sites like or social media. You could look for groups of people you have shared interests with, which will make it easy to find something to talk about, or find an expat or out-of-towner group if you happen to be away from home.

Make the Most of Your Free Time

If you do decide to hang out alone you can also take the opportunity to teach yourself something you have been wanting to learn, such as:

  • photography
  • piano
  • a language Spanish for example),
  • ikebana/ flower arranging
  • pottery/ painting
  • computer programming/ webdesign

See how far you can progress before the holidays end.

Alternatively, if learning feels too much like hard work, how about working your way through all the classic movies you have always meant to make time to see? One of my favourites is Dune (for the Sci-fi nerds out there), but I also recommend Amelie, Stranger than Fiction, Lost in Translation, About Time and slightly older action/ adventure movies like Die Hard, Romancing the stone, Indiana jones – there’s actually too many great films to list. I’m excited for you at this point. Oh yes, and gaming – that’s a thing lots of people love too.

Create Something

Along similar lines as above, but a little more ambitious – take this free time to create something. Try and make it something you feel like doing, are excited about and will feel good for having finished. Things like:

  • a short story
  • a book outline
  • a poem
  • a painting/ drawing
  • a photography project
  • a short movie
  • a coffee table
  • a Raspberry Pi or similar
  • an idea for a video game
  • a photo book

The possibilities are limitless, but try and confine yourself to something you actually enjoy and care about. You have some time to research and experiment now, playing around with ideas and trying things – enjoy it!

Whatever you choose to do, being alone can be a wonderful gift as long as you value it and have the right attitude. Whatever you do, be intentional and do not allow feelings of FOMO to dominate. All over the world people who celebrate Christmas, Hannukah or other, will be with their loved ones, and it is guaranteed that at least one of those people is incredibly annoying, so enjoy the luxury of doing what you want, when you want and having your own space and time. 

Taking Stock of Your 2019

A personal annual review can help you reflect on the challenges and successes of the past year and help you to prepare for a great 2020.

Last year I started taking part in the tradition of doing an annual year-end review and based on how it went I made some pointers to help you do the same. Before we get started on the how, let’s have a quick look at what a personal review is and why we would do it.

The Why

Why would you do this in the first place? Well this is a busy time of year when we can get swept up in parties, shopping, travel and family drama and it is easy to drift into the new year still in a partial food coma possibly faintly smelling of Brussel sprouts and Ferrero rocher (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing!). But, as always, it is easier to see where you’re going and how to get there when you clearly know where you’ve been. In this case, it will be easier to start the new year with 2020 vision if we take the time to reflect on the year coming to a close (excuse the pun). 

The What

A personal annual review is just that – personal – so yours may be very different to someone else’s. But just to give you a general idea; it is an opportunity to reflect on what you have achieved in the past year, the challenges you have faced and how you did that, what disappointments and breakthroughs you’ve experienced, what you have learned and what you would like to do or have more of in the future. It might take an hour for some people, others may set aside a day or even week. 

The How

Here are my tips for doing your own great review. I recommend you have a read through and then make this exercise your own by doing it your own way, so it makes sense and feels right for you. And at the end of this article I will give you some ideas of things you can look at more specifically.Set aside time.

1. Set Aside Time

It helps to plan in advance because if you are a super-busy person you may find yourself doing this last minute or squeezing it in because you feel like you should, but then you will not really be in the right state of mind to reflect. So whether it is for an hour or two, or you decide to schedule times every day for one week, I strongly recommend you specifically set aside time in your diary. 

2. Prepare

You do not need to do extensive prep for your review, but if you have a general think about things you want to consider before hand it will give your subconscious mind a chance to start working on it, and it also gives you a chance to gather any facts or data you need. For example, if reflecting on your work is part of your review and that will involve sales figures – get the rough data together before hand so that your time is not consumed by this. Or if you want to plan a big trip in 2020, you can do a little research on different options ahead of time – not choosing the trip, just gathering information. Getting the more mundane but necessary part of the way first will help you to relax into a more reflective and maybe intuitive state for your actual review.

3. Create the Space

If you are not used to doing this kind of exercise it can feel a little silly and if others are not used to you doing it you may find it hard to be left alone. Consider your best chances for some peaceful alone time, where you will have the time and space to reflect. Sometimes taking yourself out of your normal environment can help give you more perspective, while others may want the sense of connection to their life that a familiar place gives them. There is no right or wrong as long as you feel comfortable, engaged and relaxed. You can also create your mental space for doing this work by setting aside worries and other habits (smartphone/ browsing the internet randomly), allowing yourself to step outside of the day-to-day so that you can reflect on how you have been over the last year, how your work has gone, how the year has affected you etc. 

4. Decide What to Look At

You may want to look at every aspect of your life, or just a couple that are most important for you right now. Personally, I like to get a general overview and I have included a few different aspects below, which are more about your self-development than practical concerns. However, you can look at anything you want; finances, friendships, athletic ability, travel, cooking skills. I strongly suggest you pick the topics that feel meaningful to you, which will make a difference in your life, and also at least one area that you know is not your strongest and would prefer to avoid looking at. 

5. Be Kind 

Of course, this review is meant to help you bring the old year to a close and move into the new year feeling strong, hopeful and centred. Therefore, it is not an exercise in being very self-critical or other forms of self-flagellation. Of course, we have to acknowledge mistakes but the main thing is that we understand why they happened and how we would like to act in the future, not get caught up in guilt or shame. So be kind to yourself as you do this review – even if you have had an absolutely terrible year (especially if you have!) – because this review is a way of taking care of yourself. 

Some things to consider

Many of the points below are related to self-development more than practicalities (although I have popped a couple of those in as well), so feel free to add anything else you are interested in – this is just to get you started. You could pick 4-8 aspects of your life to consider in your review, whatever you feel is right for you. 

  • Physical health
  • Connection to, and appreciation of, my body
  • Amount of fun I have
  • General levels of joy
  • Amount of spontaneity/ adventure in my life
  • Ability to take risks when it feels right (did I play it safe and regret it at all? Did I take too many risks?)
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Self-compassion in my attitude and actions
  • Ability to think clearly
  • Amount of time I feel inspired/ lifted up
  • Amount of time I spend in a flow state
  • Sense of connection to others
  • Deepening my relationships, putting the time and effort in
  • Taking care of others in a healthy way
  • Having great boundaries
  • Self-love and self-appreciation
  • Acknowledging my emotions and listening to them
  • Taking care of my emotional and physical needs in a healthy way
  • Finances
  • Career progress and successes
  • Learning from opportunities
  • Creating an authentic and strong network for study or work
  • Ongoing study to build on current knowledge/ expertise
  • Having all my ducks in a row at important times
  • Setting myself up for success (did I self-sabotage at all? If so, how and why?)
  • Charitable/ pro bono work, giving back to the community
  • Considering my impact on the world, the change I would like to make even if small
  • My relationship with the environment, lessening my impact, helping nature
  • The influence I have on other people (children, students, coworkers, partner, friends and others)

As you can see there are so many things we could consider! You may be wondering why there are so many things that look at our impact on others, considering this is self-development. Well we’re all in the planet together and although it may feel comforting to think we are an island, on some level we know this is not true. So I recommend including some aspect of your impact on the world or people around you in your evaluation also. Contributing to something greater than ourselves is also the way that we find meaning, and I think this is a great way to bring the year to a close and to move towards 2020 with a sense of who we are, how we are doing, our place in the world and the impact we would like to have on it. 

Happy personal annual reviewing! 

Image by picjumbo, Pixabay

Sneak Preview of My New Book Cover

I am super excited to show you the cover to my new book, eta October 2019 [updated eta is April 2020 – I hope you don’t mind waiting a little longer]!

It has been a bit of an epic journey writing the book, and so it is wonderful to have a cover that reflects all the work and passion I put into it. Really looking forward to sharing this work with you.

If you want to stay updated on the book release just sign up to the form below.

The Art of Coming Home by Suzanne Wylde

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# 6 Hanging Out With Our Inner Child

Our inner child is the part of us who didn’t grow up, stop playing, dreaming or exploring. He or she is still in there, hoping we will come out and play, listen to them and comfort them. This is one of the exercises from the book, which I really enjoy – I hope you do too.

Speaking to our Inner Child

It can be funny when we start to do this kind of work, imagining a child within us, but then for many of us the memory of how we were as a child returns quite clearly. The clothes we liked, our hairstyle, the way we stood and acted. In the exercise below we are going to call to mind our inner child so that we can speak to him or her and it can be really nice to see them again.

On some days you may connect with yourself at 5 years old, on others at 9 or 16; allow whatever age wants to talk to you to come up. Also, take this exercise at your own pace and above all have the attitude of kindness to yourself and your inner child.

Exercise: Speaking to our Inner Child

a) Start by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes and breathing in a relaxed way.

b) Picture yourself as a child – whichever age comes to mind is fine. Notice their clothes and hair, facial expression and how they are standing.

c) In your mind’s eye say hello to them and then ask them if there is anything they want. Wait for the answer patiently, try not to have any expectations about what you think they “should” say.

d) If they do not want anything, ask if there is anything they would like to say. Again, wait for the response with an open mind. If they did ask for something, you can imagine giving them what they ask for (such as a hug) or even plan to do something in real life with them, if it is practical. 

e) You can talk to your inner child as much as you feel is the right amount, always allowing them as much time to respond to questions as they need, and giving them the opportunity to ask questions.

f) When you feel you have finished it is nice to imagine giving them a warm hug and telling them you appreciate and love them.

How do you feel now you have done that? If they asked to something, you can do it and imagine them there with you. If it is something a little less convenient, you can imagine a substitute that will help them to feel the same way. So, for example, if they wanted to go skydiving you can go on the swings or a rollercoaster, to feel free and excited.

Whether it is colouring, cartoons or exploring, enjoy spending this time with your inner child! After all life is too short to be a grown-up all the time 😉

Personal Year Review

Although my book deadline is fast approaching and I probably should be writing, I felt like I wanted to write a quick post on the ritual of intentionally looking back on our year. This week before Christmas feels different to the others, as if a natural lull is descending. Over the holidays many of us take time out of our normal routines and with this natural interruption in the day-to-day comes a great opportunity to reflect on the year just passed.

This isn’t to critically judge our performance in 2018, but rather to take the time to acknowledge our successes as well as the hard times and see how we have grown. There is not a lot of ritual left in modern society, but it is still a deep-seated need that we have – the act of taking a moment to witness ourselves and our lives is very powerful.

So, although it is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of the holidays, and the dynamics of family, why not take a little downtime for yourself to check in with how things have been for you, how you have been, what you have achieved and where you want to go next. Hopefully we will be able to begin the new year with clear hearts and minds (if not bodies!!).

1. Looking Back

In this exercise we are going to look at the bigger things that have happened, but you might want to look at your calendar to make sure you get all the key ones. Also when doing this is best to be as open and honest as you can and not engage in stories around events (he did this/ she did that because…).

a) Write down the major events of the past year, if you like tables you can draw one like the example below. It does not have to be major in other people’s eyes; just important to you, and it can be good, bad or neutral.

b) Next to each event I would like you to write out all the emotions you experienced around that event (before, during and after as a result of it).

c) Try and identify any main challenges that you faced, whether internal or external, be as detailed as you like.

d) Now write out what you learned from that situation, and how you have grown as a result.

e) In the final column, write how you were successful. We are using this word in the context of doing something that was good for you, which may not seem like success as defined by society’s standards.

My theme:

2. How we did in different areas of lifeIt can be a good idea to look at how happy we have been with different aspects of ourselves and our lives over the last year, so that we can work on improving these in the new year.

Out of 10 mark your level of satisfaction with each of the following (10 being the best). Please note that if you are not travelling much, but are satisfied then it can still be a 10/10 as this is not about anyone else.

Eating nutritious food
New experiences
Personal Growth
Intimate relationships
Family relationships
Co-worker relationships
Creative expression
Making needed changes
Learning new things
Improving skill or knowledge at work
Making useful connections for work
Doing Exciting things
Having a stable home life
Taking healthy chances
Examining beliefs and values
Living according to own values

This is not to feel bad about ourselves at all, in fact we should celebrate the areas where we are doing really well, but it is useful to know where we might like to put some more energy next year.

3. Major Successes from last year

Above we looked at events that happened to us, but here we are going to make as complete a list as possible of all the things we are proud of (or should be proud of) from this year. Include even small things if they are significant to you. Sometimes we forget to celebrate what we have done well and move right on to the next problem, but it is important to acknowledge how much we have achieved so we can build on a feeling of satisfaction and success.

Getting that balance between kindness to ourselves and accountability is important for most self development work. But this is easy once we understand that being kind is not letting ourselves off the hook if we know we self-sabotaged or did not try very hard, and remembering that being accountable is not looking for reasons to criticise ourselves, but just taking responsibility for our behaviour and actions (or inaction).

List of successes:

So, I hope you enjoyed doing your personal review. I have found it a great way to think about how I have been, what I have done, what I have avoided doing and what I would like to do in the future. And although this is not about making new years resolutions that may only make it to the second week of January, if you would like to you can set a couple of goals for the next year. Making them quite specific is a good idea, and then you will know if you are achieving them or not and I highly making them realistic. You can look over all the things you have reflected on from the past year, and think about what you would like your next year to look like in general, or maybe what you would like to be writing about this time next year in your personal review.

My goals for next year: 

I hope you found your review useful. Have a great Christmas, Hannukkah, Pancha Ganapati, New Year and Solstice!


This term has rocketed to popularity since neurologists have found that we can greatly influence how fast we age mentally. Or rather – how fast we decline  (I do not think the word age should be used interchangeably with words like decline or wane – growing old does not have to mean growing feeble physically or mentally).

How we live has a huge impact on how we can continue to live. And more than use it or lose it, which says if we do not continue doing a thing, we won’t be able to do it – it appears that it is crucial to keep trying new things.

I believe that this should be a theme throughout our lives, not just for our 70s or 80s. By continuing to put ourselves outside of our comfort zones we learn how to learn – how to be bad at something and be OK with that, how to go through the initial stages of trying and failing, learning by experience, building motor skills or mental ones. And gaining the confidence of a new skill, as well as new insight into ourselves. Over time our idea of ourselves can grow staid or rigid. Challenging this with new experiences, situations and friends can keep our relationship with ourselves fresh and real.

And it is not just learning – exercise is a really important part of staying youthful, which makes sense because there’s nothing like a workout to blow the cobwebs away! It has to be fairly high intensity to get the benefits, so I’d choose cardio or strength work over a gentle stroll if that is possible for you.

So, embrace your superpower – superageing! Of course, how perfect is it that the key to staying young is to see the world like a child – a sea of new opportunities and possibility. Enjoy! And remember – with great power comes great responsibility 😉

Check out this article for more information if you are interested: